this has been a hard week for me. it was our first week of "real life". john started school while i tried to figure out what it is i am doing here...john is really enjoying school and is going to to do so well. i am really excited for him. i'm also finding myself being jealous of him. its hard to sit and watch while he gets to really DO something...and meet lots of cool people from all over the world. i want to meet people!! i want to DO something!! i am in a "selfish slump".
i have been very excited and eager about learning ASL (american sign language). i am doing that, and i LOVE it. but i have not had any success in finding any form of a deaf community here. i really want to have interaction with someone. i am going to continue to pray that i meet someone i can practice sign with.
i haven't been alone in my little pity party this week. john porter has had a terrible week of teething. all 4 of his front teeth are in. why is this continuing to be so terrible?? he has had a high fever at night, refuses to eat any solid food, won't take his normal naps during the day, and wakes up about 4 times during the night. i feel like im going crazy.
we will find our way. i know i need to be patient. i know that the Lord brought us here. its just been a hard week...
No pat answers here. I'm sorry that it's been a hard week. On the one hand you've got---fun interaction....new people....a sense of accomplishment---on the other hand you've got---cranky little boy....quiet....no instant 'boy-I'm-really-doing-something' here feeling. And you're finding yourself 'on the other hand'.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you. And for John Porter.
From where I sit....you are really doing something. You're moving everyone forward. I'll keep praying for that deaf person to interact with. There's got to be someone in Morehead that signs....
This is Viv, not Matthew :)
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you Cori. Your post reminds me of when I was living in a little apartment as a single mom. Nicholas was John Porter's age. I worked a little at a part time job but otherwise didn't feel like I had direction. Taking care of Nicholas wasn't very mind engaging. I wasn't really plugged into the church with close friends at that time so I was lonely.
I encourage you to keep preaching truth to yourself (like you said: "the Lord brought us here")and ask the Lord to open up doors and windows to what He has planned for YOU during your stay there....I know he has wonderful plans for you!
Like mom said, 'you're moving everyone forward'....and that's so true. So that's your first and biggest mission in Kentucky! John needs you there to be his helper as wife, mother and friend....and you mean the world to John Porter. The sacrifices you do for him now are earning you gold medals in the halls of motherhood. When John Porter has grown up, you will look back to these days with mother's pride and say he was so worth it.
Thanks for sharing your heart in this blog, the good and bad. Its helping us know how you're really doing, and helping me feel even more connected with you!
Lots of love and prayers!
Your 'sis'
Viv
I hear your heart, and know that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else but by John's side. The thought of 2 years, of a week like this, does not bring joy to the soul....BUT....this is just temporary. You'll have amazing weeks interrupted by a week like this one, or some even worse (just to add variety). The one truth that you can draw strength from is that GOD WILL SUPPLY ALL YOUR NEEDS. He will supply you with deaf and hearing friends. You'll get to be part of John's world of interesting friends as you visit him at school and he brings them to your warm inviting home. Maybe there will be a church that has or needs a deaf ministry. I bet you could start a children's signing\reading hour at your cool library. We'll all be excited to see how God mets all your very special needs. Love You!
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty. I think I go through a "selfish slump" at the start of every move. That transition time is just hard, at least for me. I'm glad to hear you found a grocery store-- having the essentials helps. Thanks for writing. I always enjoy reading it.
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